Men who have sex with men on the Internet: Just what exactly are they doing with their keyboards and computer mice?
Earlier this month, Michael W. Ross, a student at Malmö University College in Sweden, defends his dissertation entitled, Typing, Doing and Being - A Study of Men Who Have Sex with Men and Sexuality on the Internet. Among his findings are that many men who currently engage in “cyber sex” with other men, identify as heterosexual and report that these anonymous virtual experiences offer them the freedom to explore and experiment with their sexuality without fear of exposure or other repercussions.
The idea that the Internet offers individuals a space to be identity-less – to let down their inhibitions – is not a new one. One might argue, however, that some inhibitions are good ones and that some of the discomfort associated with exploring our sexuality is not only unavoidable, it is necessary.
Does anonymous sex over the Internet really offer men an opportunity to explore their same-sex attractions without risk? Perhaps the virtual world offers a less-threatening way for men to make sense of their own identity conflict. I mean, playing Halo doesn’t mean that I actually want to blow up aliens and zombies for a living. Having sex with other men online doesn’t mean I’m gay, right?
Clearly, there is some degree of anxiety or fear, hence anonymity and discretion being key in these exchanges. The discomfort and shame that many people experience around their sexual activities and the Internet – whether they are looking at pornography, talking dirty in chat rooms, cruising for sex – is unfortunate, but very real. Often, the fear of being found out, of being labeled as gay or perverted, overrides concerns about personal health and safety. I heard one story in which a man who had just been informed that he had contracted syphilis from a male sexual partner who he met online, was more concerned about whether or not his wife would find out that he’d been looking at naked pictures of men than about the fact that he had a sexually transmitted disease.
Is the anxiety that men face in identifying themselves as gay greater or lesser than the anxiety that men face in identifying themselves as a heterosexual man who sometimes has sex with other men on the Internet?
Posted by Jenn on March 23, 2006 10:48 AM
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