“We’ll begin with a spin”: Sex on the Internet and other delightful bits
Cyber-sex. Virtual sex. Online cruising. Welcome to the 21st Century of sexuality.
Imagine that the Internet is Willy Wonka and he’s just swung open the doors of his factory to reveal a world of sexual delights beyond your imagination.
People can have graphic sex talk sessions over email and instant messaging. People can type with one hand and rub themselves with the other while watching each other’s webcams. People can hook up a computer gadget to their genitals that allows another person to remotely jack them off. People can read other people’s profiles, chat online and then make plans to meet in person to have sex.
But let us not forget the fate of Augustus Gloop. Our indulgences can sometimes overtake us. There may be costs for slurping from this particular chocolate river. Sure it tastes sweet. But there are consequences for our behaviors, and they aren’t always the decadently sweet, chocolaty kind of consequences.
The definitions of sexual activity are changing. While we’re all caught up in whether or not teens today define oral sex as sex, we’re missing the parade of online sexual activity that’s marching past our window. Sex means a lot of different things these days and for every new sexual activity – real or virtual – that is identified, there are people lined up wanting to participate.
And if your mind isn’t blown yet thinking about these new definitions of sex, remember that at the same time, people’s definitions of sexual identities are also changing. Human beings aren’t so easily categorized anymore. We are gay, bisexual, straight, lesbian, questioning, queer, polyamorous, straight but we have sex with people of the same sex, gay but we have sex with people of the opposite sex, sexually active but we’ve never physically touched another person, virgins but we have anal sex every weekend.
It’s an exciting time to explore sexual possibilities, but it’s a complicated time too. Online stalkers, 50-year-old sexual abusers posing as 10-year-old girls in order to build sexually coercive relationships, contracting HIV or another STD from someone whose online name is the only thing we know about them, more and more people isolating themselves in dark bedrooms with no physical contact with another human being for two weeks at a time.
For those of us who want to stay informed, our old definitions of gender, sexuality, risk and relationship have to go. Sex, love and relationships have gone techno. Whether you find that prospect terrifying or exhilarating, times are changing and it behooves us all to accept that fact.
Posted by Jenn on March 16, 2006 9:48 AM
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