Pick up lines: what works, what will get you a smack upside your head

Whether we’re in a bar, in a club, at a party, at work or online, most of us are absolutely terrible at breaking the ice when it comes to sexual or romantic pursuits. We can be awkward, obnoxious or overly subtle. Either way, many of us who go out looking for love end up coming home alone.

MSN (which, contrary to popular belief, doesn't stand for “men who have sex with no one”) recently provided some tips for conversation starters for women who are pursuing men. Below are three of their recommended lines with my editorial comments:

"Can you close my bracelet for me?" Or "Can you help with this crossword puzzle answer?" or any other plea for assistance.

First of all, where are you trying to pick up men? A jewelry store? If you aren’t already dressed and bejeweled, you probably aren’t ready to start your night. And if you’re in a club or at a party doing a crossword puzzle, you’re already a social disaster! Then again. We would do well to remember that, apparently, there is nothing more appealing than incompetence. Why not try something like “Can you help me dress myself?" Or “Could I trouble you to wipe me?” (Actually, that one’s got potential…)

"Don't you think Batman's cooler than Superman because he doesn't have super-powers to fall back on?"

Works great if you’re trying to proposition a 10-year-old boy. That and bringing a stuffed animal with you. Unless superheroes come up spontaneously in adult conversation, referencing them as an icebreaker will give you the immediate power to make people stay far away from you.

"This new Snickers bar is fabulous. You've got to try it."

No one wants a bite of a stranger’s food. Unless you’re looking for someone with no personal boundaries or an innate desire to acquire hepatitis, avoid offering food from your mouth or your hand.

Instead of trying to come up with something clever and rehearsed, try relaxing and being yourself. Use body language to show interest. Make small talk about what you already know you have in common (that you’re at a party, bar, club… that you’re listening to the same band or music.) Acknowledge that it’s tough to meet people. Try starting off with, “It’s so hard to meet people in places like this.”

Be prepared to feel awkward and remember that not everyone will be interested in you but that the right person might. Keep trying and if one scene isn’t working for you, talk to your friends about opportunities to meet single people that they know, join a club or take a class where you’ll be spending time with people with similar interests. Try out online dating where some people feel more comfortable being direct and avoiding all of the awkward small talk.

Meeting people is hard. Don’t look for a script to make it easier. And definitely don't offer strangers food that you're in the process of consuming... that's just gross.

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Posted by Jenn on April 10, 2006 9:40 PM
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