More than just amusement -- world's first sex theme park opens in London

The Academy of Sex & Relationships West End Theme Park is due to open at the London Trocadero near Piccadilly Circus and will occupy over 10,000 square feet. The park will feature interactive exhibits covering a range of topics including sexual performance improvement, erectile dysfunction, aphrodisiacs, beauty, romance and sensuality.

This is absolutely genius.

Amusement parks have long been considered a prime gathering spot for adolescents and young adults, and visits to amusement parks have been associated with sloppy public displays of affection, the wetting of the pants, sounds of pleasure and exhilaration and the acquisition of various communicabe diseases. The idea of making learning about sexuality and relationships an engaging opportunity for socializing is nothing short of brilliant. The possibilities are endless.

The creators of the park have been gathering input from leaders in health and education, pharmaceutical companies, and public health officials to design effective and provocative exhibits that are informative as well as tasteful. Although I was not contacted directly, I humbly submit the following three ideas to the Academy of Sex and Relationships:

1. STD Thrill Rides
The park could feature several thrill rides intended to educate the public about the most common sexually transmitted diseases. For example: Gonorrhea Gulch could take passengers on a riverboat ride through sour fish-smelling waters followed by a stop at the urinals of fire. Chlamydia Canyon could take riders on a relatively uneventful rollercoaster ride, ending abruptly with all passengers being funnelled out through the exit turnstiles, no longer able to produce offspring.

2. Water Park
In addition to celebrating water play, the park could feature a series of twisting lubricated slides at the end of which are pools of various bodily fluids. Strategically placed cameras would automatically snap park visitors' pictures as they emerge from the pools. (Need to talk with park officials about legal issues re: charging riders for protective masks and body suits.)

3. Midway Gaming
Dildo Ring Toss, Pop That Unidentifiable Sore, Guess Whose Baby You Just Fathered and Whac-a-Clit. Prizes would include condoms, dental dams, ben wa balls and various plush animals.

Posted by Jenn on May 22, 2006 2:51 PM
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