When a cigar is not a cigar - commentary on sex dreams
I'm walking down a dark, damp hallway. There's a sparkly, electric chandelier hanging overhead and it keeps flashing off and on. A dark stranger (actually Hank, the copy machine repair guy from work) approaches me. He comes up behind me and blindfolds me. The next thing I know we're in the copy room at work and we're on top of the copy machine and the light is flashing and it's warm on my back. And Hank's not overweight and sweaty and he has less hair on his knuckles than I remember. And I close my eyes and I'm hoping that it won't ever stop... that the copier won't run out of toner... that no one's dropped a paperclip into the duplexer. And the light keeps going back and forth and I can hear Hank's keyring jangling and suddenly, I'm awake.
Most of us, at some point or another, dream something sexy. Whether it's just abstract images and physical sensations or very specific, graphic scenes featuring neighbors, friends or colleagues, there are mornings when we may wake, blushing, wondering, "Now why would I dream about that? I don't even think of Hank like that!"
There are lots of theories about the meaning behind sex dreams. According to one site, some native cultures encourage sex dreamers to act upon their dreams - to attempt to reenact scenes upon waking in order to resolve any physical or psychic distress. Other theories suggest that dreams with sexual content actually aren't about sex at all, but are about our perceptions of ourselves or about how we believe other people perceive us.
While both men and women have sex dreams, one study indicates that women are more likely than men to be passive participants in their sex dreams, often watching the sexual activity from the outside.
For those that have them, sex dreams can be distressing, pleasurable, confusing or repulsive. Regardless of their meaning, there are a few important points to remember when it comes to sex dreaming:
1. If you want to dream about sex more often, try writing down whatever details of your dreams that you can remember. While relaying your dreams to others, embellish details and always incorporate a naked sailor into the plot line. Watching movies and television shows right before bed may also boost up the sexual content of your dreams. I personally recommend the second season of Three's Company.
2. The morning after a sex dream, do not spend $15 on a pregnancy test. That's not how babies are made.
3. When someone with whom you work is featured in one of your sex dreams, do not tell the person this. It will make him/her feel uncomfortable. It is also inappropriate to compliment people on their involuntary, fictional sexual performance. Even more importantly, never offer tips or criticism about what someone did poorly in your sex dream, even if you mean it to be constructive.
4. Don't assume that if someone was in to you in your dream, that they want to date you in real life. Remember, 95% of the time we look hotter in our dreams than we do in real life.
5. Use images from your dreams to stock up on sexual fantasies that work for you. Sex dreams are harmless. Enjoy the dreams that you have and keep them for yourself. If you dream about something that makes you feel sexy, don't worry about whether or not the images are taboo, strange or forbidden. Remember, no one but you needs to know that your sheets were damp after waking up from that dream about your mother slapping you in the face with a fish.
Posted by Jenn on June 27, 2006 10:16 AM
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"Read this if you want to learn how to become a sexual powerhouse even when you're alone and comatose."
sounds like me. most of the time. except a few days a month when someone sweet comes to visit and keep me sane. or when it's time for the ol' servicing of the ol' prostate.
was that inappropriate?
actually, sex dreams bother the shit out of me. Why? My dreams closely imitate my real waking life. Meaning, i never get that orgasm, or "we" can never find the time to get around to it, or having sweaty naked body contorting makeout sessions are booed at by other people in the same store - no - wait, that one is "dream only."
Just as i continue to have re-enactments of the events that caused me PTSD, my dreams also like to remind me that i spent 7-odd years with sexual deprivation at the hands of silly ol' "i'm committed to my girl" naivety.
NEVER USE DEPOPROVERA
EVER.
It also helps to have chosen a mate who is comfortable with sexuality and not lazy in general.
Though, the number of dreams i've had lately involving being re-abused by my former employers... i think it would be nice to have an innocent little "oh shucks, i dint get ta orgasm" dream once in a while. It would be a break from the routine of screaming and waking up sweaty for reasons that have never crossed paths with sexuality.
It's better with company. In fact, that's one reason i'm so desperate about my needs for female companionship. More sex, less PTSD about work and betrayal. No, not "more" sex. Just "sex," period.
But, ah, naturally...
i'm going to stop spamming your blog with pointless replies now... i think i've thrown too much atcha already...
but i'm like that ;-)
Thanks for the good reads!
Wouldn't it be nice...
-- Posted by: Jace at January 7, 2008 3:18 AM