Professional wrestling as erotica? Like, no duh!
I've really come to appreciate journalists who are willing to take chances, to put their journalistic integrity on the line and ask the tough questions. Recently, the American Chronicle dared to ask the unthinkably bold question - Is there too much sex in mainstream, professional wrestling?
The argument is not that erotic content, big boobs and sexy backstories detract from the sport of wrestling. It seems to be that too much erotic content, big boobs and sexy backstories detract from the sport of wrestling. Or that, perhaps, the erotic aspects of professional wrestling would be better received by fans if the images and storylines spoke more to their individual fantasies.
There are plenty of opportunities out there for fans who are interested in mixing sexuality with wrestling. If you like a little girl-on-girl action, check out WEW. Like it co-ed? Try Steel Kittens. Or if you're into big, hairy, naked guys putting each other in figure fours, you'll love Global Fight.
But if you, like many wrestling fans, prefer something a bit more gritty, maybe you'd find something like this more stimulating:
Announcer Earl: It's time for the event we've all been waiting for. Piggy Pete and Bulky Bob have been all over each other for years and have finally agreed to settle their differences with a naked cage match.
Announcer Fran: That's right, Earl. This is the first naked cage match since Grappling Gregory separated his scrotum in his fight to the death with Hairless Hector. This'll be a match to remember. No clothes, no rules. Just a cage and two naked, greased up guys.
Announcer Earl: And here they come!
Lights go out, gay disco anthem plays.
Announcer Fran: And Piggy Pete wastes no time. He's in the ring for 10 seconds and already he's got Bulky Bob bent over!
Announcer Earl: Aw...but watch out! Bulky Bob uses a reversal to get himself on top of Pete!... He's got his arms up under his thighs... he's pulling him over... and he's got him pinned!
Announcer Fran: It's not going to be that easy!... Pete's managed to trap Bulky Bob's elbow using his overly developed buttock muscles. He's got his face between his knees and... oh no! A Fist Flapper!!
Announcer Earl: That's right... Bulky Bob has somehow managed to draw Pete's arm into his body and he's using leverage to turn Pete onto his stomach. These two men have got to be exhausted! Surely this can't go on much longer!
Announcer Fran: What's this?... Famed tag team members - Crook, Rip and Shuffle are entering the cage. And Vixen, their big-breasted dominatrix manager is right behind them!
Announcer Earl: Looks like we've got a Gang Bang, Fran!
Announcer Fran: It's chaos! I can't tell who's doing what to whom!
Announcer Earl: Does it matter, Fran?
Announcer Fran: No, Earl... I don't think it does matter. All I know is this is one for the record books. A five man, one woman battle of nakedness!... I'm glad I don't have to clean up the ring after this one!
Announcer Earl: Ha ha! Indeed, Fran... indeed!
Posted by Jenn on July 25, 2006 10:44 PM
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